Wow! So August has been a pretty incredible month. It’s had its ups and downs but overall I think I’ve found some answers I’ve been searching for and some left unanswered. But in the meantime, I’ve came up with some pretty grand realizations about myself and this life. Want to hear them?
I need to trust my gut feeling because it’s always (usually) right.
I need to leave my heart open to others but also be smart enough to keep a realistic grip on it.
I think not having time for something or someone is an excuse. You don’t want to. Guess what? All we have is time.
Life is short. Party naked. – Just kidding did someone have this on a t-shirt from A&F in this lifetime? No, seriously life is short. Too short. Love the ones that love you, spend time with the ones that want to spend time with you. Don’t waste all this energy and hurt on people and things that don’t do the same for you. I think I read this on someone’s status: Don’t make someone a priority if all you are is in an option to them.
You will always regret what you didn’t do more than what you did do. (Trust your gut might conflict but do what’s best for you)
You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend. Tough battle. Be kind to yourself.
Look after yourself but don’t be so selfish that you are unaware of how your actions affect others.
And as my new and wise friend said to me this week, “Girl, you need to do what’s best for you because no one in this world is going to put you first in their life like you can your own.”
These all seem like general things. But how can we find a balance? How can we find that balance of doing what’s best for you and putting ourselves first but still come across as a caring, selfless individual? How? In my life, it seems to be one extreme to another. I sometimes feel as if the world owes me something but then I also act like I owe the world something. At the end of the day, it comes down to our intentions. I had a quote from Drew Barrymore in a book called “You Go Girl!” that was given to me in 1998 by my best friend, Megan that I still love. “In this world all we have to fall back on is our intentions.” Because at the end of the day isn’t that all that matters? Our intentions. What did we intend to happen by our actions? Did we intentionally hurt someone? Did we intentionally do something to lift ourselves up and put others down? Or did that hurt you but my intentions were to be honest? I believe too that were only as good as our heart. (Also, from the book – Tyra Banks I believe!) I’m only as good as my heart and my intentions, fair enough.
As I sit and chat with my new found bff…I wonder with amusement and anticipation where my life will take me? What should be my next career move? Should I move at all? Will I ever find that someone? We don’t have the answers but we have the time, we have the faith and most importantly we have each other.
You see I believe that God brings people into your life when you need them. And if we just allow ourselves to get close to someone we’d be surprised how much we still have to learn.
I’m learning.
I’m growing.
And at the end of the day I just want to be proud of who I am.
Life is a process – it’s day by day by day – I hate everything about that but why am I in such a hurry? I’ll I’ve got on this earth is time. (Not a long time but some time.)
So on that note, bring on the cool crisp weather, the three-quarter length tees, tall boots, light scarfs, football and all. I’m ready oh, I’m ready…I’m ready for fall! (Yeah, I wrote you a poem just now!)
And now I’m going to Kroger.
Love always,
Amanda
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